Bronze
An interactive fiction by Emily Short (2006) - the Inform 7 source text
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Instead of examining the player:
now the player is examined;
say "You are nontrivially the worse for your journey -- hungry, dirty, and tired. But all that can be seen to later[if the player wears something]. You are wearing [a list of things worn by the player][end if]."
Instead of rubbing the player: say "There will be time to clean up later, when the situation here is not so dire."
Instead of searching the player, try taking inventory.